The inside is, or was – my family. Now, with the addition of an unexpected new arrival – a boy – and not an adopted one like me – things were going to be different. In time, significantly so.
Almost imperceptibly – I started to become peripheral.
I remember having just started school. St Johns infants. I liked it. I was happy to be out of the flat.
I had a red jumper – I think a relative had knitted it for me. It was summertime and the sky was mighty.
I enjoyed being in with the other kids – all of us excited, baffled and thrown together. There was a fair bit of singing, which was fine with me. I didn’t have time to make any friends though – we moved to a different part of town. This was a pattern which continued for years. I never understood why. He was a debt collector. He had a car. The town wasn’t that big.
So then, a new school – I was always a little on the outside from now on – educationally and socially. Trying to catch up. And keep from drifting off…
I used to daydream my way into a world of animals, bushes, trees and hollows. I was a badger – snuggled up safe and sound. Out of harms way.